TNA Tonite arent u excited

hi guys. time to look at the card tonite. we got x-division #1 contender. tanashi must feel so small. he was the iwgp HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION. No not the belt lowki holds. the same championship (kinda) kurt angle held. and muto and that brock guy he does the mma ya know. we gots womens random action. i feel like weve seen this match so many times before only were switching gail kim for taylor or somethin. the hell with taylor. time for tna to shoot the angle were cheerleader melissa lays kong out and says im tired of hiding under this mask for YOUUUUUU. rhino vs abdul. good american vs bad american. uh huh. hey remember the last time motor city guns were on ppv in just a tag match. No? yeah neither do i. hell before bound for glory i couldnt even remember last time they were on ppv. to think last year almost exactly a year ago. they pinned team 3d clean. they and us thought they were on their way to greatness. instead jay lethal was inserted in their feud and he got all the glory. then they disappeared. and basically its taken them this long to get a freakin title shot on ppv? Christian Cage vs. Booker T. i sure hope they put on a better match than they did feuding over the IC Title back in like 03 for the wwE. all these years later. still feuding over another meaningless title. thats what we call progress. kurt vs kane. ah yes another feud brought to by the E. thank you. *someone whispers in the back thats not kane while i yell oh yes it is kane just shhhh dont tell mcmahon* joe vs nash. the big one of big men. ah yes this ones been bruin for long time and u can just feel the intensity! im hopin for the hall beer bottle finish here. might as well finish off joe completely. his era is over. his title reign was god awful and was beaten by 50yr old men. and sting vs styles. what did styles do to get a title shot? did i miss where he atleast challenged for the title? all i know one week on impact one of their wacky graphics said sting vs styles. this match needs shenigans ahoy. im talkin MEM, the joe & the young geeks, jarrett, foley, just everybody run out there and go for broke.